PRIDE

We have been learning recently in Sunday School about the good ol' pride cycle. If you haven't formally been told about the "Pride Cycle," see if this sounds familiar.

You are doing pretty well. Everything seems to being going your way! 

Then, you start becoming pretty proud of yourself. "Look at me!" and "Look at what I did!" I don't need anyone or anything to help me...I did all this. 

 Next, you begin treating others differently. They aren't as powerful, as good-looking, as _______________ (whatever else it might be, YOU fill in the blank). 

 Soon, you get a little taste of humbling-pie. It might be a lower grade than you expected or a not-so-ideal report elsewhere. Suddenly, you realize, "Oh yeah, I can't do all of this by myself...I had some help." 

 With that realization, you become humble and recognize the Lord's hand in your life. That really, without him, you'd have nothing. 

Finally, you begin seeing others as He sees them. You begin looking outside of your circumstances and become aware of others' trials. You begin to find happiness in the now. 

And there you have it, the cycle starts all over again. 

 It's funny because on a small scale, we see this in our lives all the time.


I have had numerous experiences where the Lord has humbled me and reminded me of who is in charge. One such instance occurred with my students last year. We had a practice end of the year test given and my students blew the reading test out of the water! I was so ecstatic! I started things like, "I knew I could do it! People have been doubting me, and look at that!" Notice, I was using the words "I."

The next day they took the math test, I was not even worried about their scores because I knew I had taught them even better in math than in reading. I was strutting around, knowing they were going to dominate. The next morning when I received the scores, my heart sunk. Only 5 of my students had passed. Suddenly, I was pleading with the Lord, "Heavenly Father, I don't understand. I worked my tail off in teaching them math skills. I have done everything I could possible do and still only 5 students pass." For a whole day, I mulled over the data and where I had gone wrong.

After I had cleared my mind, I again sat down with the data to take a closer look and see what I could do to fix these scores in time for the end of the year test. To my surprise, as I compared the data from the previous test, I realized that the results were identical. Upon further analysis, I realized that the results were in fact identical-the results were both from the first test that they took. With excitement, I re-pulled up the math scores and clicked on the correct test this time. My heart pounded as I realized that 11 of my students had actually passed. With a glad heart, I poured out love and gratitude to my Father in Heaven for HIS help in making this possible. It took Him scaring me for me to realize who really helped my students pass. I am so grateful that the Lord didn't actually have to humble me completely by having only 5 of my students pass. I am grateful that I was humbled quickly just by the error.

Jeff and I have often discussed how we feel blessed that we haven't had any serious trials in our lives/marriage. We often wonder if they are yet to come. However, at the same time, we hope and pray that many trials will be avoided if we can just stay humble and appreciative of the Lord's hand instead of getting caught up in the pride cycle.

 Jeff's dental school experience has been a humbling experience for both of us, alike. Without going into too much detail, we both feel like the Lord is opening doors for Jeff that he could not do otherwise. We have concluded that the reason for this is so that we will stay humble when we have a more set lifestyle. After Jeff walks across that floor on graduation day, we will both fall to our knees in gratitude for the Lord's hand to get him there. Because of this, when He asks us to give of our financial means or time, I hope we remember what got us to that point in our lives. May we, then, avoid a few of the steps in the pride cycle.

Another General Conference

Interesting how I wrote last General Conference and here I am again...exactly six months later. I guess I remember we have a blog about every six months...haha.

Just to catch up, we are now living in good ol' Memphis, Tennessee. Long explanation short, Memphis is a little bit different than Provo. Ya know, just guns, shootings, bad guys, and robbers...nothing more to worry about than what we already worried about in Utah. :) Jeff is busy with school doing 8 am - 5 pm. He then comes home and puts in a few more hours studying after dinner. It has been quite the adjustment for us, but four years will go quickly, I am sure. I am busy teaching third grade. I have been surprised that this year has been more time consuming and difficult than my first year. The interesting thing is that I have less students this year than last...and I still am putting in a great deal more of time. It might be due to the commuting. I commute 35-45 minutes there and back daily. The things we do to be in a safe part of town. School starts at 9 and doesn't end til 4. Boo! Yes, research says that is better hours for the young learners...tiring for the teachers though!

I work with the young women at church which I have really enjoyed. I teach three Sundays during the month and rotate around to all the different age groups. I have enjoyed that because I have gotten to know all the girls. I am so impressed with this upcoming generations. I look at them and wonder "Where are the crazy Jills, the crazy KaiLanis, the crazy Kammies?" The girls are SO well mannered and behaved! Way more mature than I was...then again, maybe my friends were just immature and I had no way to avoid it...ha!

We are doing well here. We miss our families...even living 5 hours from Knoxville, we rarely visit Jeff's family. I decided we have to live next to family for the rest of our lives. I want our children to know their grandparents, cousins, etc...and I want to be able to be close to fam too. This is just another page in our story. Maybe I'll write again in April. :)

General Conference Weekend

This weekend was General Conference. Jeff and I decided that since it was our last conference in Utah, we would go to conference at the Conference Center. We planned to attend the Saturday afternoon session by waiting in the standby line. Everyone that I have ever heard of who did standby got in...well, here is a story of some people who did not.

We woke up and watched half of the morning conference and then headed to Salt Lake with Jeff's brother, Chris. We had to park far away and walk quite a while with all the rush of the day. When we got to the line, we met up with my brother, his fiance, and friends who had already attended the morning session. We got our little number card-450 and 451. Then we waited, and waited, and waited.

Around 1:15 pm a nice gentleman walked up and asked us if we had tickets to conference. We told him we did not, and then he proceeded to give us four plaza seating tickets. Hmm...there were seven of us and only four tickets. We ended up giving the tickets to Brayden and Misty and their two friends. We stayed standby, only to get a text message moments later telling us that the seats were 18 rows away from the front!

And we waited. Yesterday, just seemed to be a lot of waiting. Finally, a man came and told us that there was no more room in the Conference Center. We quickly found our way to a small theater in the north visitor's center where we were 18 rows away from a projection of the Prophet.

As I sat there, I had the thought, "Man...our last time to go to Conference, and we didn't get in. We could have just stayed home and watched it on the couch." I was sulking in self-pity for a few moments when I realized what really mattered. We had spent time together as family and friends making memories of a time when there was "no room in the inn" for us. I thought of how Mary and Joseph must have felt when they needed a place to rest their heads. I then recalled a scripture in Matthew 8:20 of Christ talking to a scribe when he said, "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head."

I realized quickly why it is so important to make room for the Savior in my life daily. There was no more room for us to attend the session. However, we were able to listen to the same talks and feel of the same Spirit as those in the Conference Center. Yet, am I filling my busy life with meaningful tasks or are these daily tasks taking the room of the Savior in my life? How He must feel when He has suffered for our sins and afflictions and then must wait for us to "find time to fit" Him in our busy schedules...sometimes not being "fit in" at all.

Along with this realization I was reminded of the end of the Joseph Smith movie when the father says to his daughter, "We do not need to meet him (Joseph Smith) to know that he is a prophet." I did not need to sit at the feet of President Monson to know that his words were the words of God. Technology has brought these apostles and prophets into our homes so that all can experience conference. So to all who watched conference in the comforts of their homes, listened in their cars, or who attended the session in person- the words are true wherever you may be and it didn't taking going to Temple Square to realize that.